Week of February 18th 2019- Food Bank (A Couple Dates with Chance and Couple Fights with Axyl)

Monday, February 18th– First Day at the Food Bank and Cooking Salmon …kind of

I was late. Gosh! I feel like I am in a high functioning depression. Well, kind of high functioning. Because when I’m down, I’m much more tired than expected physically. Example, I slept about ten hours Saturday and Sunday, but I did not hear a single one of my alarms this morning. Not one! But luckily, Axyl awoke around 8am. It’s a holiday, so he has off. I do not, because it’s a federal holiday and the food bank does not count. So, I was supposed to be in at 8am, but the dietitian there did not respond to my phone calls or emails. Therefore, I planned to arrive at 8am and see if the place was open or not. But…. I hadn’t even woken up by then.

Axyl knew what my plan was, so when he saw me still asleep, he woke me, and I got moving. I called the food bank to at least know if it was open before making the long journey there. It was and the new volunteer coordinator told me to go ahead and come.!!! That’s why the dietitian hadn’t responded to me. She doesn’t work there anymore! Augh! So, I rushed to get ready and begrudgingly took an Uber over there. $25! Augh! I spent the day stocking the little shelves of the food bank. (A lot harder work than it sounds!)

Afterwards I found some energy to go food shopping. My backpack was already full and by the end of it I had a mega stuffed backpack and four heavy plastic bags I was praying would not rip on me. I got home twice as exhausted but showed Axyl the salmon I bought (he’s been talking about craving salmon for a couple months now) so I had to find even more energy to cook it. I guess I didn’t have enough energy because it ended up being cooked only on the outside. X) Sushi am I right?! (Axyl put it back in the pan, no worries!)

Tuesday, February 19th– Another Multi-part Date with Chance (Mall, Bars, and the Beach)

Surprise! I walk into the food bank today to find about five other workers. Yesterday there was only one. I figured it was like this all the time. But nope. And what characters too! I thought I was going crazy thinking one of the guys was hitting on me, but apparently not, because another one of the workers pulled me aside and told me to watch out for him because he would surely ask for my number. Oh goodness. I hate rejecting people, but I’m really not interested.

Speaking of romance, I had a date with Chance planned today. It was an ambitious one too. He planned to take me to the bookstore, a couple bars, and the beach. And he did! He picked me up and took me to the mall first where we’d find the bookstore, but I was ravenous. Today we were stacking and wrapping pallets full of donations for school children. This meant lifting boxes of supplements, milk, and canned goods. 40 pack supplements, 12 liters of milk, that kind of thing. It was tiring. And hungry-making.

So, Chance and I ate at the mall (he made a joke that I was forcing him to be healthy because I’m studying nutrition and tried to pick the healthiest of the fast food options available). I got on my mini soapbox about excess sodium consumption. (Even if you are healthy, most Americans consume much more sodium than recommended.) We swung by the book store, but there was a panel going on, so we didn’t go in. Then, he took me to a comic book store where he found the newest release of his favorite manga (Tokyo Ghoul). He was excited. From there we went to Old San Juan to a bar where we drank cranberry vodkas and played billiards. I started well, but he ended up winning. After stopping at one more bar, we headed to the beach.

Old San Juan Bar View from Above.jpg
View from one of the bars in Old San Juan

I have no idea what beach it was, but it was beautiful. It was a windy night and the sound of the waves filled the air. Then, the sound of Chance’s grimaces did. XD He forgot his sandals and didn’t want to get his shoes filled with sand so he walked barefoot over the painful little rocks on the path. We walked around enjoying the scenery with palm trees every which way. Eventually, we made it up to this structure overlooking the ocean. It was a concrete platform that sloped down back over the path to come up it. Chance said he’d sit on the slope, if I wasn’t afraid of heights and was willing to join him. (Again, I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of falling!) So, to prove him wrong, I went about 3/4ths of the way down this slope about 9 feet above the ground and sat watching the mix of blinking airplanes and steady stars. It was so peaceful with the blowing wind and sound of waves surrounding us. Just us two in a magical little world.

Wednesday, February 20th– Too Tired to Cook

This day wasn’t quite as romantic. We are still making those pallets at the food bank, so it was just a ton of manual labor. When I got home, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t bring myself to cook. Somehow, I was able to finish writing the blog about last week before falling asleep.

Thursday, February 21st– Making Brownies with Chance

Even more manual labor. Yep. I was kind of tired at this point and the workers noticed and asked me what was wrong. I wish I was in the mindset to write more about them. It’s the first rotation that I’ve been able to connect with a team of sorts. Usually it’s just me and my partner and the dietitian in charge of us. It was amazing to come into a group of people by myself especially since I feel I did become a part of them.

Date with Chance to his place to make brownies. 😀 We had another little picnic type thing at the benches outside my apartment. After that we headed to his place. It was somewhat late by then, but plans are plans. I scrambled to get a quick brownie recipe together (I don’t have a go to for that) and a few of the ingredients before heading out. Other than making the brownies, Chance let me start reading his favorite manga (Tokyo Ghoul). I got through the first part before the brownies were ready. I would like to borrow it to keep reading, but I also feel like it’s a lot of responsibility. If something were to happen to it. O.O I could not forgive myself….

In other news, the brownies were awful. XD I thought the recipe was too simple! I was looking for a recipe without baking chocolate since I didn’t have any on hand, but come on! The best brownies are made with baking chocolate! We didn’t let that ruin our night though. Several cuddles later and it was midnight. I was tempted to stay the night, but tomorrow would be my last day at the food bank and I didn’t want to be late. So, I nudged a sleepy Chance out of bed so he could drive me home. *sigh* Responsibilities, why?!

Friday, February 22nd– Last Day at the Food Bank and Visiting Chance at Work

I made it to the Food Bank on time resolved to make it a good day. I was a bit off the day before, but no more! I would make the most of this day. There was a surprise hoard of volunteers that greeted me when I arrived which made the day oddly fun. Though I’d only been at the food bank since Monday, I’d gotten the hang of the basics, so I spent the day doing what I do best: staying out of trouble and helping out on the sidelines. This meant trying to do all the odd jobs the volunteers either didn’t know to do or didn’t want to. Since we were sorting products for most of the day, this involved cutting open the plastic wrap that surrounded the stack of boxes on the pallets and then moving those boxes onto the two workstation tables where the volunteers would empty them, sort the products, and then put them on their new respective pallets.

The person in charge (Mary) warned me the boxes were heavy and not to lift them, but I insisted I could shuffle over the the table two feet away from me. I could, just barely. Soon though, my body got used to the 65 pounds and I was able to carry those boxes to the other side of the room to the second workstation. I felt so cool. At one point one of the volunteers asked for one one of the guys to come pick up a box of supplements they had filled with loose bottles of a supplement. The guy was nowhere in sight and though I feared it could hurt my back (I assumed the box must have been heavy if they were requesting help) I decided to move it myself. It was about half the weight of those big boxes I’d been carrying all morning! XD I repeat, I felt so cool. When it was time to leave for the day, I took a couple pictures with some of the food bank workers and said a brief goodbye to Mary. I really will miss this place. :<

During breaks I’d been messaging Chance and noticed a shift in mood. He’s normally a happy go lucky guy, but he’d been quieter. I asked what was wrong but he avoided the question making me think it was one of those things that are best discussed in person. I went out on a limb and asked if he’d like me to swing by his workplace and visit for a while. He said yes, so I stopped by after the food bank. Tired, dirty, and in a t-shirt, I showed up to the little grocery store Chance works at. I stood awkwardly by the register he was at. Most of the time I spent it waiting for him to not be busy then we’d smile at each other for a bit, but he stepped away a few minutes and bought me this street food called a pincho (basically meat on a skewer). He’s so sweet. feeding me even when he’s at work. He thanked me for helping him pass the time as I was leaving. I hope I did help even if only a little. 🙂

Saturday, February 23rd– Meaningless Saturday

Another Saturday wasted. Axyl and I decided on Friday nights as an evening to relax so that we could recharge and use Saturday and Sunday to work and be productive. Yeah. It’s not working for me. I am extremely avoidant of my problems. So, when I have a ton of work to do, I do nothing. It’s very counterproductive and self destructive. Realizing what I do doesn’t help me improve upon it though. *Sigh* So I did nothing today. Oh, I did irrationally stay up until 3 am though.

Sunday, February 24th– A Couple Fights with Axyl

Axyl said we’d wake up early to go do laundry, but we ended up waking at 9am. It was good though, because by the time we made it to the laundromat most of the early birds were gone and machines were available. That’s about the only productive thing I’ve done all day. Well, I did write this blog. I was so stressed yesterday just thinking about everything I have to do this coming week that I could not focus even for this. I’m just glad I made it to this point. Even though it’s not homework, it’s something and I’ll take that over anxiously playing Sims any day. (That’s what I did Saturday night.)

One last note. I got into two quarrels with Axyl this week, one on Friday night when we went out for sushi before the movie night that then did not happen and the other today (Sunday). The first was because I insinuated Axyl isn’t open to experiences or people here after he was complaining about Puerto Rico again. It was uncalled for and I’m probably just as mad at myself as he is with me about it. It was the way I said it. I took my own stress out on him and that was wrong. I said, “Well if you’re always complaining about this place and its people maybe the problem isn’t Puerto Rico, maybe the problem is you.” Gosh. What is wrong with me?

The second thing was when I was on the phone with a friend of mine asking for advice. I’m not very experienced with this whole physical contact thing. Axyl overheard and when I got off the phone asked me what my conversation had been about. I shouldn’t have told him. I didn’t have to, but I did and got the “be mindful of STDs” talk. I was upset by that. I know he cares. I appreciate that. However, that’s not the reaction I hoped for. I felt he was treating me like a naive child. Which, honestly, that’s fair. I just admitted I don’t know much about this stuff, but I know about STDs! Ugh. He just got mad that I got mad and told me he’d butt out in the future and not ask about my life anymore. That he was just worried about me and that I shouldn’t be reacting this way when he was only being realistic. -____- He says ever since I started dating Chance that I’ve changed.

I hate when people say that. YEAH. People change. People are changed by their experiences and the company they keep. That’s natural. That’s called learning from your mistakes. It’s an important part of life. Ugh. Let’s end that topic here.

***

Coming up next week:

  • Cafeteria rotation. They say it’s a tough one with a ton of assignments, but the dietitian just emailed us back and it seems like the normal amount. Except she told us she couldn’t receive us on Monday and we have an internship meeting on Friday, so a typical week is going to have to be jam packed into Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Joy. -____-
  • Food Service Case Study Presentation during the Friday internship meeting. Case study report due that day as well as that research proposal I’ve been procrastinating on since December. Can not turn it in later. Ughhhhghhhghghghhh
  • Maybe a study date with Chance. I’m going to be majorly stressed though, so it may not be the best idea. But when have I ever gone with good ideas in my life, ha! (….I wish that was a joke, guys).
  • One short somewhat sad poem to be posted next Wednesday.
  • I’m trying guys. I’m sorry I didn’t get around to writing part two of my first date with Chance. The plan is to write that during the weekend and have it to you guys by next Sunday. Things are going to be getting very stressful from now on and I don’t feel ready for it, but I don’t want to abandon this blog again. I’ll keep forging on. :/

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