As surprised as I am that I haven’t published this poem yet, I understand. This one came from such raw pain. I wrote it immediately after “I Wasn’t Always Mute” when I was waiting for a phone call from my dietetic internship director to scold my internship partner and me. I questioned everything in those moments. My future profession, my choice of internship, and most importantly, if my hardships would be worth it. Man… I feel the desperation simply in my handwriting. I still wonder if I made the best choice… Over a year later, I still don’t know.
October 26, 2018
Go Home.
I don’t want this.
Isn’t that simple?
Don’t want.
Don’t do.
I. am. a. fool.
Just someone else’s fool tool.
I drown
like a sad clown
In my own pool.
Why am I here?!
and in my eyes tears?
I feel…
that wasn’t the deal.
I want to be selfish
not this
I want to be happy
not this
I want to help others
but, maybe, not like this.
My Dragonfly Life 