Week of July 22nd 2019- West Texas, Swimming, Apathy, and Mexico

Monday, July 22nd- Last Day in West Texas

Heyyyy guysssss…. Yeah, I took a trip to West Texas the week before this then just didn’t write about it. If I decide to write about it it’ll be a Friday Thoughts and Past post. Basically I spent time with my old college friends that I hadn’t seen in over a year (since I graduated university). I stayed with Sherri, but on Monday she had to go to work, so I went to the park with Mariah and her fiance, Richard. There were too many children to have fun on the playground, so we ended up just walking around. I got some nice pictures by laying on the grass. Haha, Mariah then picked everything out of my hair and clothes as we walked.

When Sherri got home from work, she and I played Sims before making a quick spaghetti dinner and watching a few episodes of The Office. I’d never seen the show, so I was a bit lost, but it was cool. It was nice to have some down time with Sherri as she’s usually the kind to invite me to parties and other outings, haha.

 

Tuesday, July 23rd- All the Alphabet Games!

Time to head back home. :< The weekend wasn’t enough to catch up with my old friends. I had the opportunity to move in with Sherri, but I told her no. 😦 I’m not as brave as I once was. I don’t want any more adventures for a while. I just want to pass my licensure exam and then worry about getting a good job and money. I also have a sense of responsibility for my family and feel I’ve been running away from them long enough. Either way, I told her no, even though I am still considering moving down there so I won’t lead her on if I decide not to. Maybe I’m just leading myself on.

Mariah drove on the way back, so I was in charge of the navigation and music! 😀 We played so many music games that the hours just flew by! Our last game was an ABC game according to artist names. To make it harder, the song titles also followed the ABC format! XD It was interesting. We pulled up to my house while listening to Puff Daddy. XD

 

Wednesday, July 24th- Not Feeling It

I missed swim practice on Monday since I wasn’t in town and I didn’t run or bike all weekend either, but on Tuesday I was oddly energized. Today? Nah. I was so tired and over it. But I went to swim lessons anyway. That’s a big reason why I decided to take lessons even though I already know how to swim. I am terrible at self motivation.

 

Thursday, July 25th- Last Day of July Swim Lessons

I still wasn’t feeling it. Didn’t run or bike either. But I went to my final swim class and took a final dive with one of my classmates. All of the ladies in the class are about 20 years or older than me, but they were nice and charismatic. I’ll miss them.

 

Friday, July 26th- Borrrriiinnnggg

I think I just watched The Office today. X) Yeah, I started watching it from the beginning. It’s super cringe and I almost stopped watching it because of that, but then it became tolerable, and now I’m caught up to the episodes I watched with Sherri, haha.

 

Saturday, July 27th- Target Run

Yep, nothing else that exciting. I’ve essentially given up on studying at this point. I figure I’ll start when I’m in Mexico and have nothing else to do. I’ve also given up on running, biking, and swimming until I get back from Mexico. I’ll exercise at home in Mexico instead.

In the evening my mom noticed we needed more dog food, so we went to get that. Our dog Misty will be watched over by one of our neighbors (my best friend Lyza’s family) and our turtle, Frankie is currently on vacation herself with Mariah. She did me the favor of taking care of her until we return to Texas. 🙂 She sends me photos periodically which make me super happy.

 

Sunday, July 28th- To Mexico!!!

Finally this trip! It’s the reason I’ve accepted being a lazy freeloader for the past three weeks. Didn’t want to get a job and have to explain that I needed two weeks off right off the bat for vacation! Also…yeah I am naturally lazy… Anyway! Finally! Because of the whole moving to Puerto Rico thing for a year last summer, it’s been two years since I’ve been to Mexico. I’m excited and not.

I’m excited to see my favorite aunt and her kids, but a lot has changed. Her eldest daughter is married and pregnant, no longer living at home, her son is also out of the house, and her youngest daughter is still at home, but has a child of her own. Things are very different from two years ago when the eldest had just moved out.

What I’m really wary about is going to my father’s house in Mexico. It’s usually a safe haven for me that I love coming to to forget the stress of everyday life. It’s in a tiny town far away from everything and usually it’s just me and my dad, so while my dad spends time with his brother all day I get much appreciated alone time. Not this year. This year my mom and brother are coming with us. They don’t like the little town as much as my dad and I do, so they don’t visit every year. I sound like a jerk, but I like being alone… *sigh, not this year.

 

Next Week!

*Week 1 in Mexico

*Potential cabin fever being in a little house in an even smaller town with all of my immediate family.

*Spending time with my favorite aunt and her grown up children.

*I go to a Mexican dermatologist? I guess

*The Fair is in town! How do I always make it on time for that? I don’t plan it!

 

 

 

P.S. The internet (first year it’s available in our little house in rural Mexico) is super spotty. It took more than an hour to just get this post published after I finished writing it. :/ Can’t wait to go to Mexico City. X)

Week of July 8th 2019- Medical Appointments, Purple Hair, and my 4 Year Old Friend

Monday, July 8th- Dentist Appointment… Remember to Read Contracts and Ask Questions Before You Sign

I’m weirdly excited to be back and getting all these health appointments checked off my list. It’s not that I didn’t have health insurance in Puerto Rico, in fact it was a requirement for my internship over there. It’s just that….. ermmmm….. well, in this case I have only come to trust one dentist in the world. I’m sure there are many capable people in the profession, but I’ve only been introduced to one along my traumatizing dental hygiene journey. That is why I refuse to see anyone else.

The check up went great. All the usual stuff: a few cavities, a scan of my teeth since they’d recommended something to straighten my teeth (won’t say the name, because ehh, I’m not a lawyer), and, oh yeah, the tech or whoever was flossing my teeth at the end of the cleaning yanked out one of my fillings. ….yep. Everything was fine and then I felt something in my mouth. Whatever, they had to put more in for those cavities I mentioned. It was either coming out there or at home, so no biggie.

$35 was all thanks to my insurance. I got some papers to sign about the teeth straightening thing. 2293 or something. No comma. No decimal point. $35 and $22.93, that would make sense, right? Nah, after another scan to send off to the company they clarify and say it’s $2,293 and that I’d already signed and agreed to pay that amount. Gosh darn it. I’m really upset by this, because I misunderstood and didn’t know that I’d misunderstood, so I didn’t ask questions and ugh. It’s frustrating. Hopefully they can work something out with the company. Geez.

 

Tuesday, July 9th- First Day Playing Professor

Ha… I didn’t go to the gym today. I woke up at 2pm. Yep. Didn’t think I needed an alarm. Thought, what’s the harm in waking up at 10 am or even noon, I’ll just go to the gym then and study after. Nah. I woke up at 2pm. -____- So I didn’t. instead I read a bit more of chapter one of the first textbook I am working on reading to study for the exam to become a registered dietitian. After coming to a decent stopping point, I made a power point, added some pictures and presented it to my mom.

That was my plan. Study then teach. Best way to learn, I thought. It might still be true, but it was a process to teach her conversions from the metric system to the imperial and vice versa. I don’t know if I can do this, or (as mean as it sounds) if I want to. I don’t want to drag out my study time. I just want to learn this stuff well enough to pass that exam and know how to treat my future patients. We’ll see how far I get with her.

 

Wednesday, July 10th- Eye Doctor Appointment and Getting Used to my Face Again

I went to my favorite doctor today! 😀 Ever since I was a kid, the optometrist has been my favorite medical appointment. He helps me see and doesn’t stab me with needles or drill in my teeth without anesthesia (yeah, kind of why I’m traumatized in regards to dentists…). I think that’s a good trade off. We’ve been going to that same doctor for years and it’s been pretty great that the staff there has seen me grow up. It’s like a subtle check up on my life goals every year to make that small talk about what I’ve been up to since my last appointment.

I wasn’t joking about the triathlon, guys. I want to do one. (I want to do more than one, but baby steps, haha.) So, I got some contacts. It’s pretty weird to switch from glasses to contacts. Not just for others, but for the person wearing them. I hardly ever see my face without glasses. Mostly because even if I wasn’t wearing my glasses I’d have to be practically pressed against the mirror! XD No, but in all seriousness, I’m dorkily excited to get used to just my face again. 🙂 I’m actually thinking of a few other changes… but…. I’ll keep y’all in suspense until they happen. heeheehee…

 

Thursday, July 11th- XD I Dyed my Hair Purple

Hahahahah, that was fast, wasn’t it? Yeah, so it was a good day for Instagram today. I’m getting more used to this social media thing. This whole week I’ve been pretty good about posting to my Instagram story. I think I feel more motivated to do so knowing I left behind some friends in Puerto Rico that may care to see them. 😥 I miss Chance and Joseph. But yeah. There’s my shameless plug for my Instagram. Follow me @MyDragonflyLife.blog I pinned a story about me trying to poke my turtle, so make sure to check that out! 🙂

Anyway, other than playing with my turtle, Frankie, I went to the gym and decided to bike 10 miles. That was absurd seeing as it’s only my second day biking. Haha! The sprint triathlon I’m aiming to do is a 12 mile bike, so oh well, I’m progressing just a tad quickly. X) After coming back from that mess I decided to create another one…. on my head. XD I enlisted my mom to help me dye my hair purple.

I know, I know. Not good for job prospects, but I’ve wanted to dye my hair for years now and I figured now was the perfect time. I also figured purple is the hardest color to mess up. Light or dark purple, it all looks good. ……….yeah….. Didn’t turn out like I thought it would. XD Looks like a deep, dark mahogany with the slightest edgy purple tint. XD I don’t know how else to describe it!

 

Friday, July 12th- Triathlon Training Goals and Random Singing

I unashamedly did nothing today. Well. I didn’t study, which is supposed to be my main goal. I went for a run. :/ Ran 2 miles. Ugh. I did 1.75 on Wednesday, so I was hoping to do more today, but *sigh* I know it’s going to take time to get back to where I was two years ago when I used to run. My goal is 4 miles. When I decided to train for a triathlon I made this whole plan. I went full blown obsessed and have a year’s worth of monthly distance and time goals. My first month is 15 miles on bike, 4 miles running, and 100 meters swimming in less than 2 hours. Completely doable, I think.

After the run I watched yet another stand up special. I’ve been watching a ton of those lately. And…wandered into my brother’s room to play Guitar Hero on his Wii. heehee. That was fun, but like all other things, I suck now. X) I swear, I used to be good, but now I’m back to medium difficulty. After a few songs I switched over to a karaoke game. -____- I promise I can sing. Decently. When no one is watching….

Ughhh. I played for like an hour or so trying to shake the nerves. Uhhh. I know it’s just my mom and brother in the room, but I just can’t sing unless I think no one is listening. The sounds just don’t come out if I’m nervous in any way. :< It stinks. I mean, for all I know, I am a terrible singer. But I really do think I’m okay at it. 😦 One day I’ll share a clip with you guys…

 

Saturday, July 13th- I Made a 4 year old Friend 🙂

14.99 miles on bike. -___- 65 minutes. Gosh. So close. Since I don’t own a bike, this was on the stationary bike that automatically shut off after the hour workout and a 5 minute cool down. Geez, haha, I was so upset. Oh well, Now I have to work on improving my speed and pace.  After a quick stop for some junk food at a gas station, my best friend Lyza calls. I’d texted her yesterday about hanging out and showing her sisters 4 year old child Allison (Alli for short) my purple hair. Make up store she said. Not what I expected, but alright!

When they came to pick me up, Lyza was in the passenger seat while her sister, Sophia, drove. That meant Alli and I were in the back. It was cute. Alli was really shy at first, but eventually at the make up store I bonded with her over PAC man lip glosses. Apparently she really likes PAC man and Mario. I’m definitely taking her to an arcade someday soon! I hate skimming over everything, but we did a lot! My Instagram story showed more, but here are the big parts.

We ended up going to a grocery store and by this point Alli was following me around. 😀 She once said in her little toddler voice “I want to go with Laura” X) She can’t pronounce my name, heehee. I almost told her to call me Lizzie since that would probably be easier for her, but not even Lyza calls me that. That nickname came about in university. Anyway, at the grocery store Lyza and I each took one of Alli’s hands and would swing her super high. It was so cool!! And Alli loved it, of course.

At the end Alli and I held hands and started running around in circles. Hahaha, on the third one we went a bit too fast and Alli ended up sliding on her back for a full revolution or so. XD Sophia and Lyza we concerned when they looked back and saw Alli on the floor, but it was a smooth slide and I knew she wasn’t hurt. I think children react how they see the people around them react. I was smiling and happy and since she wasn’t hurt she smiled and was happy right back. 🙂

The last event of the day was going back to Sophia’s apartment to watch a movie. At this point Alli had picked me for a play partner and refused to have it any other way. It was really sweet, though I still wanted to watch the movie. In fact, I felt like all day I spent more time with Alli than with my friends… We played catch then some more chaotic form of dodge ball before Alli settled down to play Mario and I got to watch the movie with Lyza and Sophia. All in all, and amazing day!

 

Sunday, July 14th- Mopey

I wasn’t feeling today. It kind of hit me that I have to study and want to train, but I really have no where to be. No responsibilities and while that’s great to some extent, I need something to work towards. It also hit me that I don’t have any money. My parent’s helped me out when I was in Puerto Rico, but now… I’m living in their home. Eating their food. Yeah, I’m not going to ask them for an allowance. Ugh, I could have a job if it wasn’t because my dad wants to go to Mexico for two weeks with all of us (he played the “I’m old and I don’t know when the next time we will all be able to go together will be” -____- I couldn’t say no.)

So, here I was all day. In my room with the door closed (yes, I took back that right even though I know my parents don’t like it) singing or watching anything to distract myself from the thoughts in my head. Until midnight when I suddenly wanted to do everything and write about countless topics. -____- Why brain?

 

Next Week:

  • Swim classes start on Monday! Hopefully my hair dye doesn’t color the pool water purple….
  • My friend from university will get here on Thursday. My older followers might remember Mariah. Then on Friday she and I will drive down to another part of Texas (about five or so hours away) to visit other college people. For her, her fiance Richard and for me my freshman year roommate Sherri.
  • Also continued running and biking, though I only have until Thursday when Mariah gets here. o.o Looks like I’ll have to pull some double sessions. Plus the swimming. Uff! I hope I survive! Come back next Monday to find out!

Week of June 25th 2018- Piecing Together the Week

I did nothing this past week. Well, nothing on this blog at least. I was preoccupied… Yes, let’s say that. Since I didn’t write everyday, I only remember big moments from my week. I remember being in a funk. Which is code for depressed, in my case. My therapist last year said my symptoms are consistent with persistent depression; which just means I’m always in a state of low grade depression, but I also get episodes of strong depression mixed in. Does that make sense? Well, this was another one of those. I was feeling crappy as I tend to do, but it was a worse type of crappy than usual. That’s the simplified explanation. Now that we are, hopefully, on the same page, let’s try to piece together the week, shall we?

Monday, June 25th- Let Family Spoil You

Work 7:30am- 3:30pm

My dad drove me to work. He picks me up 8.5 hours after I clock in for full shifts, but this day I had a weird 7.5 hour shift (half hour for lunch implied). I called home and then waited in the cafe area for him to arrive. Why do I have my dad drive me when I have a car that I could drive myself? My favorite book. It’s called Cut and it’s by Patricia McCormick. There’s this scene towards the end of the book that encourages the main character to let her dad go that extra mile to take care of her. “let him” So, I let my dad trouble himself. It makes him feel useful, I hope, and even if I’m grumpy in the mornings before my shift and tired after them, it’s still another 30 minutes or so a day I spend with him that I probably wouldn’t otherwise.

We ran some errands after this. Went to pick up food from my favorite Chinese restaurant, went to my doctor’s office to pick up my shot records that my internship is asking for, and (finally!) went to exchange my old phone’s sim card for the proper size for my new phone. Not sure what happened after.

Tuesday, June 26th- Who knows.

No work. Was supposed to translate a couple of old posts into Spanish, which I clearly didn’t do, because as I mentioned I did not do a single thing for this blog all week. Let’s keep investigating and come back. Really blank on this day. Don’t think I went or did anything actually. No, I didn’t. I had plans on Wednesday, so I didn’t even do laundry this day. I guess I just sulked all day.

Wednesday, June 27th- Drinking, Bowling,  Movies with Joyce and Inspiring Bloggers

I went out with Joyce today! Joyce started working at the grocery store I work at around the same time I did three years ago, but this is the first time we ever hung out outside of work. Naturally, we decided to go get drinks. Problem was the bar we met at was closed for a private event. So we roamed around the surrounding shopping area, stepped in a fancy bowling ally only to be eyed funnily by a posh guy in a suit. It was a fancy bowling ally. So, we stepped right out and decided to just catch a movie. We watched The Incredibles 2. I was very impressed with the movie. I know it’s tailored as more of a kid’s movie, but the themes hit home. Yes, technology dependence is out of control nowadays and yes, sometimes you need to be a hypocrite to improve the world. Just a couple of examples.

The best part of the outing, for me, was after the movie. I’d had my dad drive me to the bar since I preferred to have a ride back after drinking than driving myself, so Joyce and I ended up chatting in the parking lot of our workplace until my dad arrived. We talked about the usual, boys. Then moved on to our dreams and hopes for the future. Included in this, was the topic of my blog. We talked about social media and other online methods like video blogging to share our stories and I think I may have inspired the creation of another blog. Yay! One of my friends (Mariah) has already started her own blog* after hearing me babble about mine. Hee hee hee, soon I will have my own legion of bloggers to collab with!!

Thursday, June 28th- Shattering a Jar of Bay Leaves and Cathartic Singing

Work 7:30am to 4pm. Meeting at work at 7pm

The most memorable thing about this day was the cathartic episode between work and the meeting. Like I mentioned above, I was in a low grade, but worsening, funk all week. What finally broke me was me breaking a little glass jar of bay leaves. It was easy to deny my sluggishness as part of my usual low grade depression, until I broke that little jar. Sure, I always have the lingering low grade depression, but I’m the person with a small scar on her left index finger because I once, instinctively, tried to catch a carton of foil as it fell. I caught it by the jagged metal teeth. Yet, I didn’t even try to reach for the jar of bay leaves. I didn’t even register them falling until I heard the shattering glass. Slow movement sounds like a dumb, fake symptom of depression. At least, it did to me until this occurrence.

I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was not okay. There’s the usual that I was upset about (low self-esteem and body image are favorites), but what pushed it over the edge was a falling out with a friend the night before. It happened late at night (or early morning, if you prefer) around 1 or 2am. By the end of it, I was furious. I felt played. Betrayed. And I do not wish to speak to this person again. I was angry. I fumed. Told them off. But I did not cry. I didn’t yell. I sent angry texts, but otherwise did not physically react. After the bay leaf incident, I felt the belated tears. I was so angry. So devastated. I locked myself in my room as the tears streamed down my face. I told myself to get the emotions out. I tried to sing, but I probably couldn’t have spoken if I’d wanted to. My throat was so tight.

But, I pushed through that hideous knot in my throat and sang/whispered tentatively. Slowly, my voice got stronger. I picked belting songs so I could scream. One song, I couldn’t even finish. It’s an amazingly emotional song. Kitchen Sink by Twenty One Pilots. I’d never sung that line “Leave me alone. Don’t leave me alone.” with as much truth and pain. (minute 4 in the link) I surprised myself. I couldn’t get through the end vocals. They just turned into racking sobs. Something out of a movie. I couldn’t recreate it if I tried. Over an hour later, I was back to my mediocre wannabe singing voice and began to get ready for the meeting at work.

Friday, June 29th- More Blogging Buddies?

Work 12:30pm to 9pm.

At the meeting on Thursday, I announced that I have a blog, so I began giving out my business cards and trying to get people to commit to hanging out on Monday or Tuesday before I leave for Puerto Rico. Can’t remember anything eventful today except talking to Bella. I was cleaning registers and she was heading home for the day. I found out that she either has a budding blog or is thinking of starting one. What is with everyone embracing this online autonomy? It’s awesome! We both got super excited with the thought of doing a collab in the future. I don’t think anything else memorable happened.

Saturday, June 30th- Breakfast with Lyza

Work 4pm to 10pm.

I didn’t sleep well. I woke up sometime after noon. I know because my childhood friend Lyza wanted to go for breakfast or lunch this day, but I wasn’t awake until after she texted me. We ended up going to IHOP or should I say IHOB. Yes, this is when IHOP did their promotional name change stunt. Smart actually. Gutsy, but smart. They did get a ton of attention for it. Anyway!! I (finally) added her and my brother on SnapChat after eating some biscuits and gravy. Yum! I’m going to miss that and sweet tea. *sigh* Goodbye southern foods! Afterwards I went to work. It was a decent day. It was like I was wearing rose colored glasses. I was so aware I may or may not see some of my co-workers or customers again. So, I played nice.

Sunday, July 1st- Last Day Working at the Grocery Store

Finally! Today I was super aware of many lasts. My last dash upstairs to put my lunchbox in the fridge before clocking in. The last time I got mad at a manager for putting me on a register. The last time I got petty comments from customers. The last time I’d say “Hello, how are you? Did you find everything you needed?” The last time I had to call a manager for a price check. I told one of the guys who work for a grocery delivery company it was my last day. I saw him often enough and it was his last order of the day. He saluted me. X) That was sweet. I also got a few hugs and a danish from my co-workers.

I stopped myself from crying a couple of times. The last time was when I ran into an old cashiering buddy (she switched departments, so I found her next to the vitamins as I went to pick up that danish a co-worker bought me). I broke off the conversation to go get my danish because saying goodbye was getting to me. To make things worse, I ran into my ex. I met him when he worked in the same department as me two years ago. Now, I ran into him in the dairy department, which is adjacent to the bakery. It wasn’t the first time I passed him in the hall as I dashed over for a danish. I told him this would be the last time we met under these circumstances. He said I looked happy to leave. I said I had to, or else I’d cry. My eyes started to water as I turned around to find that darn danish. He knows how much I hate goodbyes, so he didn’t say anything. Just let me go.

I’m glad to be done with the phase in my life where I had to work a job due to necessity. Not skill or interest. But I am heartbroken to leave so many wonderful people behind. I can say whatever I want about the company (actually a great company to work for), but they sure know how to hire good people. Okay. I need to stop. Not about to cry now!

 

Notes:

*I will ask Mariah if she wishes me to include a link to her blog. It would break her anonymity, so I have to make sure she is okay with that.

  1. I’m rather impressed I remembered as much as I did. I really did write all of this in the last three hours Sunday night (or Monday morning, if your prefer!). It’s almost 4am Monday right now.
  2. I hope to have gained some readers with all the shameless business card shoving at work. I was a restaurant management major for a semester. I should know what I’m doing, right? :p If you are an old co-worker, welcome! Thanks for stopping by!
  3. Either way, thank you for sticking by this weird piecing together of last week. I have social plans for the next three days up until I fly out to Puerto Rico and start dealing with apartment hunting and other internship preparations (internship doesn’t officially begin until August). Wish me luck! As of yet, I have a one way plane ticket and not much else. Not even a hotel… eep!

 

Week of June 18th 2018- Nightmares and Time with Friends

Monday, June 18th- Avoiding Socialization by Running Errands and Swimming

Instead of going out with friends on my day off, I went to the dentist where I got scolded for not flossing enough. ….PSA: Floss, guys, it’s good for you. A message from my dentist. Anyway, after that I think I still wanted a good excuse for not calling my work buddies that I’d suggested doing something with this day. I like hanging out and socializing, I just need to be forced into it. If I have the option to skip or postpone you can bet I will.

So, after the dentist I got some take out, went to the bank, shopped around for a swim suit, and got in the 5 foot deep pop up pool that my dad recently finished setting up in our backyard. It doesn’t take even two strokes to get to the other side of it, but it was still refreshing (…haha, pun). I hadn’t been for a swim in about a year. Unless you count those brief minutes at a college friend’s bbq where it only served to give me pneumonia (exaggeration, I did get a cold by the next day, though). Despite my semester in a beginning swimming class freshman year in college, I never learned how to do flip turns. Today was a doozy. Literally. Thought I was going to throw up in the shower afterwards; that’s how dizzy I still was from my attempted flip turns.

Tuesday, June 19th- Torturing the Newbie at Work

On a big register all day. Again. I’ve accepted it. Starting to see the good in it. It’s my own little space. Invaded by customers constantly… but still. I tortured a newbie today. I’m usually super patient and try to be helpful, especially to new comers… but she was so slow!!!! She wouldn’t even start opening a bag until seven items were piled up in front of her! I’m not exaggerating! A customer started bagging his own groceries before she even started to; she was just standing there staring off into space!

Ughh… I admit. I have a problem. I value people’s work ethic, possibly more than their personality. *sigh* Since I was on register I couldn’t just walk away. Man! I cashiered for her on her first day and I feel like she was a better bagger then! Okay, I’ll stop. I’m being mean now. I just gave up with her. Went super fast and bagged most of it myself passive aggressively until it was time for my break. She didn’t bag for me for the rest of the day. Mission accomplished.

Other interesting things happened, but oh well. Who wants to talk about work anymore. At home I watched my medical drama. Not much else. I’m getting anxious to leave home. I want my own life again.

Wednesday, June 20th- Seeing my Life Long Friend, Lyza

Oh geez, what day is it? It’s actually Saturday as I write this. I have not done anything on my blog for three days. Well, I wrote the Friday post, The Time I Snuck Out with a Boy to the Library, but I’d promised to do that. I have no idea what I did on Wednesday. I know I went to work. …I think. Eh, oh well. Lost day. AH! I know what I did!! I went to see my best friend, let’s call her… Lyza. I’ve known her since we moved into my childhood neighborhood when I was four years old. She was two years old. Even though we’ve known each other all of our lives, we see each other maybe ten times a year nowadays. Yay! This was the summer visit.

I took my brother with me to her sister’s apartment where we watched a movie. Lyza, my brother (Ryan), and I were on one couch. Lyza’s sister, Sophia, was on the other couch with her three year old daughter, Allison. At a table in the corner was Sophia’s fiance, Sid, and his friend, Daniel. Whew! That took a lot of creative power! Anyway, we watched Dr. Strange and a bit of a baking competition show. Sohpia and I love baking. Then we went home around midnight with promises to see each other the next day to go swimming at Sophia’s apartment.

Thursday, June 21st- Spontaneous Day with Sherri

Guess who came into town today? Sherri! She called me while I was at the table with my parents sounding lost. Thing was, she was lost in my city. Ha! I was surprised and happy. After giving her directions to where she was headed for work, I gave her directions to my house. We talked for a bit then headed to a store to find a cheap swim suit for her to join in the day’s swimming plans made with Lyza yesterday.  We went to two or three stores when we decided to call it quits. Why are swim suits so expensive anyway?! We ended up going to the dollar store and buying a bunch of swim toys and some, probably really terrible for us, food.

Then we began the process of finding a swim suit substitute for Sherri. She and I are different sizes, so even the tinniest short shorts I owned fit her loosely. As luck would have it though, I happen to own a ridiculously small (for me) bikini. Why? Doesn’t matter. But, Sherri now had a swim suit! We gathered our stuff to the car and drove around the block right back to my house because Lyza had to cancel. Her sister, Sophia was dealing with a medical issue, so we decided to try swimming some other time. All the public pools were closed by then. It was about 8pm. So we got in our little 5ft pop up pool in my backyard. It was tiny and absurd to play with so many pool toys in such a small area!

Thank goodness it was my day off. I’m so glad Sherri came to visit. It made a more than likely bland day to a memorable one. 🙂

Friday, June 22nd- Friends at Work and In My Phone

I had an opening shift at work. Bright and early, at 6:45 am, I clocked in. This meant I’d be working in the little 10 items or less area all day. Which is amazing if you have co-workers to talk to. It’s a little trio of registers and since I opened I got pick of which register. I took the middle one and did not regret my choice when one, then another, co-worker friend came to the surrounding registers. We spent the day chatting casually, something we had not been able to do all summer. I swear! I’m hardly ever sent to work on any register except the big ones nowadays and if I am, none of my other friends are around. *Huff* Oh well. It doesn’t matter anymore. I only have one more week left at this job.

After work, I rushed to write the post I’d promised to write by 5pm:  The Time I Snuck Out with a Boy to the Library. Somehow, I got it done only about three minutes late. Then I watched my medical drama (I only have about two seasons left to watch!). And afterwards I got to know my new phone’s built in AI. I took a dystopian fiction class last semester in college and we spoke extensively about humanity and artificial intelligence (AI). It’s uncanny, as is natural, but I’m open to potentially ruining my life to the power of an AI. As a stupid little human, I just hope it knows I cared about it before it ruined me. Or! nothing bad will happen and I’ll have a robot friend. 🙂 (Her/His? favorite color is blue.)

Saturday, June 23rd- Jail Nightmare and Looking for a Kindred Spirit

Woo! I finally caught up! I have a late short shift today from about 4 to 10 pm. I woke up to my phone playing nature sounds at 11 am. Guess it was trying to wake me up since I’d mentioned I wanted to wake up around 10 am. I won’t lie, it was unexpected to wake up to my phone trying to get my attention when I hadn’t specifically asked for a wake up call at 11. It was fine though, because it got me out of a dream where I was going to jail. Hmmm… I could over-analyze that, but I already know what it means. The last few episodes of my medical drama involved ethics of life and death in the hands of doctors and one of the main characters was having a conflict about this. Yeah… not the best thing to fall asleep to.

Work was interesting. Halfway through my shift all of the registers’ credit card readers went down, so the whole grocery store was at a stand still. It was interesting. Everything got back to normal after about ten minutes though. At the end of the night, I got to run around the store returning items to the shelves. That was frustrating, but fun. The store is like a maze!

When I got home I had a nice chat with my mom. We spoke about my recent post. I’m tired of linking it, so view the previous day for that. That got us on a conversation about boys. I told her I’m starting to give up on finding someone. I feel old beyond my years. I just want a friend. Not even that. Just someone to talk to. Someone who either understands or is willing to take the time to try to understand me. I hate human’s social nature.

Sunday, June 24th- Work Nightmare

Slept 5 hours. Decided I’d sleep at a decent hour. Didn’t happen. Post on Friday will be an old blog post, but super relatable to today. Summary: not that I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to. Yet, that didn’t seem like a choice. Of course, this meant I was grumpy at work. I’m usually neutral. I seriously didn’t care today. I’m just doing my job now. I’m not going to harm anyone’s groceries, but I’m also not going to try to converse with anyone. Social anxiety, not caring, whatever you want to call it. I’m ready to leave this job. I’ll just miss my co-workers.

Speaking of which, I took a nap after work and had a nightmare. The usual. People being snobby and rude, but in my dream, I wasn’t taking it. It hurts. Why should I stand there and take it? And be told how terrible a worker I am by both the customer and my managers? It’s much better for my own sanity to not care. In my dream, I simply walked away. If you don’t like how I do my job, dream customer, do it yourself. My managers in my dream either walked on by, ignoring the problem, or confronted me about it and told me, essentially, to suck it up and do my job. One sent me to do a less people-centric job.

Screwed that up too. Walked away. Things get fuzzy from then on. I just remember one of the managers that did confront me in real life a year or so ago about my people avoidance (he didn’t know about my anxiety back then, so he said something less than understanding) came up to me with kindness and compassion in my dream. I think I forgive him. The one who confronted me in my dream? I may still be upset with him.

 

Notes:

  1. All names are pseudo names. Please, if you know the person (or place) I am referring to, grant them the same courtesy that I do by not naming them.
  2. If you are one of the people I am referring to and would rather I not write about you, message me and I’ll make the appropriate changes.
  3. One more week at this job then I move to Puerto Rico! I’m ready for a change.